(Can You Feel My Heart -- Bring Me the Horizon)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Belonging and fasting.

I'm such an idiot.
I am completely incapable of keeping track of when "mother nature" is supposed to come and terrorize me, and I seem to love attempting to not eat on those days.
Then showering pretty much kills me.
JK. But seriously.
Had to lie on the floor to make the blackness go away.

Ugh. Aniwayz;
I don't feel like I belong anymore.
Like, here, real life, anywhere.
My inability to stay and be active on any site or anything for more than an undetermined amount of time makes it hard to, like, actually feel relevant.
Lol. I don't make sense?

I feel like I have a lot to say.
Uhm, for those that have been following me or reading this long enough might remember the boy I was as-close-to-obsessed-with-as-I-can-be way back when.
He's kind of back in the picture, but I don't think I like him.
Okay, call me out on bullshit. I sort of do, but I think I just have this thing where I have to prove to myself that if I want it, I can have it.
I'm too fugly to have it, or anythingone, though.
Emphasis on the ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffugly.

Whatever. I've just been hanging out with him lately, nbd. I've also been hanging out with Mickey -girl, jsyk :P - and Christine much more than usually.
I'm at a loss for friends.
Lol. That made me sound like a bitch.
I fucking love those two, just sometimes Christine needs a punch in the face.
I guess e'rybody needs that sometimes though.
Lol. Gangster. ;)

Lalalalalalala. I'm talking to a ~ten year old on Facebook.
Winning? No? Okay...
It's my brother's friend and we're talking about her coming over to give him his late-birthday present, and she started the conversation, so it's not like my FB life is total fail.

I have to go tell my parents they might be over now. xD

Oh, found a good/bad thinspo type thing today.
Apparently Deli has lost thirty pounds.
Kill me now.

Kay? Yeah? RIGHT.

Laterz, loveliez.

P.S. Dyed my hair sort-of-black yesterday with purple... Pics maybe later? Like, tomorrow since I'm shit-skrubbin' hxc today.


  1. Win on the pics! Can't wait to see them. On the boy front - who cares what people think. If he makes you happy then keep him around. Fuck the haters. Just don't let him treat you badly or make you feel less about yourself. Move by instinct! Xo

  2. You're not ugly. I've seen your picture and you're beautiful. If he makes you happy, then he's worth it :)

    Also, on the feeling like you don't belong, you're not alone! I feel like that too, like really out of place in social situations. Only alcohol makes me sociable these days - and that has calories D: xx