(Can You Feel My Heart -- Bring Me the Horizon)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Dreams and nightmares.

It really sucks dreaming/having nightmares about a thing you don't believe exists.
It's so hard to wake up from that and realize it's never going to happen.
I fucking hate it.
Why is my head doing this? I don't want THAT. I'm terrified of THAT.
THAT isn't fucking REAL.

Please, just let me stop dreaming. It shouldn't hurt like this, or at all.

I'm losing my new "group of friends". The four of us.
I can't keep the secret. Somebody has to tell; I won't, but I want to.
He's not even truly my friend, but he has to fucking know.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
You two did it and it's going to affect me.

I'm so fucking selfish...

Oh, BTW, I was on vacation last week. If you noticed that I wasn't here anyways.

Laterz, loveliez.

Thanks everybody for the comments. With this whole "teenage angst" think I've got going on, you guys make me feel... young.
Really though, I love all of you, and sometimes you're the only think that makes me feel OK.

P.P.S. (It is two Ps, right?)
My birthday is coming up. 22 days + 1 hour + 45 minutes and I... will be able to get my license.

Okay, lol, fuck. I just thought I should clarify that the cheating thing with my friends has nothing to do with me. I didn't do anything, which is why I'm selfish for being upset. The three of them are the ones that are going to get hurt when it all gets out... Actually, only one of them will be getting hurt then, because it was the other two.
Our "tight little group" shall be no more soon.

1 comment:

  1. Nightmares are awful, I don't get a night without them. Haven't in 5 weeks. But they'll stop eventually, and it'll be a distant memory in no time at all.
    Cheaters suck. I have a bad memory of my last boyfriend about that. but you aren't selfish. everyone is allowed to want things, selfish is when you take them even when you shouldn't.
    Also yeah a UK4 is a size 0 I think? I really hope so <3