Hope and gain.

I've lost all hope with myself.
Does that make sense? Hope with myself?
I don't know, I don't really think I can do this; I'm never going to stop with my pathetic attempt at trying, but God, I'm just at a really low point -and really high weight- right now.
How can I change this?  Why do I want to?
With school and stress and my hatred of a large majority of the people on this planet...

I just can't do anything right.

I'm so fat. Jesus, I really am. Huge.

I am a failure of the largest sorts and I'm balloon-ing into something other worldly. I am ugly. I am gross. I am fatfatfatfatfat.

Nobody likes me;
Everybody hates me;
Guess that makes me stuff my fat face and turns me into something worse than I was yesterday.

I think I want to disappear.