(Can You Feel My Heart -- Bring Me the Horizon)


Monday, February 7, 2011

Anxiety and nerves.

Everything is making me nervous and anxious and making me want to sleep and stay awake and never go back to school and starve and eat.
I weighed, and it was too much, and I'm freaked that I've gained.
But I hardly fucking ate, it doesn't make sense.
None of anything makes sense and it sucks right now.

Watching Skins makes me want drugs, or cigarettes, or alcohol;
Or anything that's supposed to make me feel good or all right or just fine.

But secrets, secrets and drugs:
They don't mix?
I'd say something accidentally about whatever, RP, whoever, calories, everything, food and weight.
But then I wonder, if I just tried, I think it wouldn't make a difference.
If I can keep quiet now, I can keep quiet then.
And I don't want to party, just do something with, like, Deli...
But Jean would kill me, people would be disappointed.

Fuck this life.

1 comment:

  1. hope things look up for you.

    tomorrow is a new day

    hales

    ReplyDelete