Anxiety and nerves.

Everything is making me nervous and anxious and making me want to sleep and stay awake and never go back to school and starve and eat.
I weighed, and it was too much, and I'm freaked that I've gained.
But I hardly fucking ate, it doesn't make sense.
None of anything makes sense and it sucks right now.

Watching Skins makes me want drugs, or cigarettes, or alcohol;
Or anything that's supposed to make me feel good or all right or just fine.

But secrets, secrets and drugs:
They don't mix?
I'd say something accidentally about whatever, RP, whoever, calories, everything, food and weight.
But then I wonder, if I just tried, I think it wouldn't make a difference.
If I can keep quiet now, I can keep quiet then.
And I don't want to party, just do something with, like, Deli...
But Jean would kill me, people would be disappointed.

Fuck this life.