(Can You Feel My Heart -- Bring Me the Horizon)


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Periods and racing thoughts.

I fucking got my period today.
I'm so damn pissed.
I feel gross, disgusting, and like I need to shower.
Ughughugh.
And I feel like I'm going to throw up.

My head is so full of thoughts that I feel like I might explode.
Everything I do has so much thought put into it, it sucks.
Like tomorrow, I dunno if I'll decide that I'm not going to the party this weekend;
Or if I'll have to ask who I'm going with if they'll stash some tampons in their bag for me, since I don't bring bags or anything to sleep overs.
And today my neighbor was being a bitch;
I thought it was just because this morning she had a friend in the car too, so she had to act bad ass or whatever.
But no, she seriously got pissed off that I wouldn't scrape the ice off her damn windshield before we went to school, AFTER she'd already driven to my house.
She seriously thinks that I'm so willing to just do whatever the fuck she says that she actually got SO PISSED when I said no.
It's her damn car, I don't care I'd she fives menrides in it;
Me and my friend have paid her for gas, and I paid for one third of the damn parking pass at school, AND I help her with her homework ALL THE FUCKING TIME -she's older than me!
All she does is hitch and crab.
I get why she does about Deli and Dam, 'cause they're damn annoying to have in a car, but she doesn't have to yell at ME about it.
I've told themthat she hates them, they don't listen to me.
If she doesn't want to five both of them rides after school, SHE SHOULD FUCKING TELL THEM.
If she's still mad at me tomorrow, I'll get mad at her.
Who cares if she scrapes off her car in the morning, even if it is every morning?
If she was damn smart she'd go and start it earlier; THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO.
I WOULDN'T YELL AT MY NEIGHBOR TO GO AND SCRAPE IT OFF AFTER I'D ALREADY DRCEN TO HER HOUSE AND THEN JUST SIT THERE LIKE A BITCH WHEN THEY SAID JO.
Holy shot, I don't even know why this is bothering me.
Probably because after school she was still hitching.
It snowed, so when we were leaving I was going to help her wipe off some of the snow. Dan and Deli slammed their door, which got that snow off,'so I slammed mine, and I had a glove so I put it on and was going to help.
But she flips out and is like:
"DON'T EVEN TRY TO HELP. IM STILL PISSED THAT YOU WOULDN'T SCRAPE OFF THE WINDSHIELD THIS MORNING AND THAT THEY'RE HERE."
I seriously just did this "O__o".
Seriously, I actually do a lot for her and she doesnt even acknowledge it.
Homework, money, inviting MY friend over so she can can help HER, helping HER myself with writing, actually WRITING some of her stuff formschool.
What does she do?
Give menrides. To school, and sometimes to get Jean -which is usually for her benefit anyways.
God.
/Rant.
I still have to take my make up off.
I'm somlazy now, and thirsty.
And pissed.
Megamegamega pissed.
Being a girl fucking sucks, stupid shit-head puberty.
Tomorrow's going to suck, I just know it.

And I don't even feel like re-reading this for mistakes. Whatever.

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